"I have to die. If it is now, well then I die now; if later, then now I will take my lunch, since the hour for lunch has arrived, and dying I will tend to later."
Alice again here. This is the second part of my secret diary.
Don’t underestimate me because I am three-nearly-four. You adults are always underestimating us children. You think three-nearly-four-year-olds can’t do much, don’t you?
This is my diary. Daddy says last one. Pfff… That’s what he thinks. I wrap Daddy around my little finger.
I say jump in a puddle, he says which one?
30th March.
Dear Diary,
Cloudy today. Unusual. Perhaps microbes don’t like the cold and rain and when winter comes tomorrow they all go to sleep. We do business today, but not in suit and tie, suit and tie for old world Daddy says. Tie looks silly, and dangerous. But more fun than lesson on stocking market and commodity buying. I don’t want to buy oil, I tell Daddy we need to diversify our investments and he foolishly challenges me to a game of Monopoly.
I have never played this game before but it seems simple. Or maybe it is difficult and Daddy is just not understand it. I let him be banker because I know greed corrupts and he will stuff lots of paper money up his sleeves and under the table and all the power will go to his head.
My English is getting better, the home school is working. Old school was all in French, funny songs and expressions but food was nice. We had three course lovely food of slow braised lamb and sun-dried vegetables on bed of couscous. At home school we have fish fingers and pasta. I like both.
But in Monopoly Daddy cheats, Mommy was right, she said watch Daddy, he is always banker and bankers always cheat, great big bonus. Daddy picks up community chest and says bank error in his favour, take twenty five thousand Euros. When it’s my go I pay seventy five Euros inheritance tax. I guess that’s the way life is.
When I’m big I will work in hedge fund making three billion in a heartbeat when people’s hearts stop beating. For now not worry because I buy hotels on different colours. I read Anti-fragile and so I have fragility built into my portfolio. Daddy buy water works and train stations. I invest in broadband and energy drinks.
Pasta for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
31st March.
Dear Diary,
Today I had ice-cream and chocolate and cake and pasta for breakfast. Best breakfast. we sit outside in our big garden and eat outside in the sunshine. We sing and sing and dance, lot’s of Frozen, Anna and the snowman and the big goat thing from Frozen come to our house after breakfast. Olaf, that’s his name, snowman. I think he would melt in the sun but he didn’t, he just make me laugh with his funny sayings.
Sometimes I wish Daddy was funny like the snowman. Daddy is funny, but Mommy is more funnier. Daddy jokes are like his music, I don’t always understand. He laughs so I laugh, that is the social construct. I think I read it is social conditioning. You can make people feel good if you laugh at their jokes. Even if not funny. I’m not sure if this is correct as you encourage people to tell bad not funny jokes and stories.
My old teacher says honesty is best policy. Lies equal ice-cream. My uncle told me that.
But back with the snowman and the dancing in the garden. After Frozen we go on a road trip to the beach. It’s my first time ever at the beach and all the stories are true. The water is warm, not hot like a bath, but you don’t want the sea to be that hot, but warm. And Mommy is teaching me to swim and I find it not easy but then dolphins come and use their flippers and help and guide me. Sometime I am not sure if Mommy is a dolphin or my Mommy. Maybe just shapeshifter. In the water she swims like a dolphin.
Then friends come and we have a barbecue picnic on the sand. Lots of my friends and granny and grandad and auntie. I have barbecue pasta and melted chocolate on banana and ice-cream.
Mommy and Daddy go to a concert to see music but I am too young so I play on a bouncy castle with Elsa and Olaf and my dog which isn’t really mine and we bounce and play. On the way to hotel we do science experiment in car with famous American scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson.
Then fabric of my mind starts to unravel and I fall through tiny worm- hole in space and fall through cascading stars and back into my bed.
1st April
Dear Diary,
Daddy is getting paranoid. Microbe is causing lots of that, he isn’t alone. Bigs don’t really know how to deal with time. Us Littles just play, it’s like some universal play button has been activated and we all get to play with our mommies and daddies and brothers and sisters all day every day.
Daddy thinks the neighbour is bad man and break a neighbour forever. Not even Daddy can fix. He looks through binoculars at apartments across from ours. Then he watches film of a man with broken leg watching neighbours through binoculars and then he watches neighbours through binoculars. Daddy watching film of watching man watching man across the street with binoculars.
In Peppa Pig today George and Peppa go to Daddy Pig’s work. Mommy say everyone work from home now except important doctors and nurses and not so important bankers and hedge fund managers. So I am like Peppa and Geroge and go to work with Mommy and Daddy. Daddy’s job is to look through binoculars at neighbours. Police came by this afternoon. I thought because of microbe but it was because of bad man across from us who broke neighbour. Daddy was right. Daddy is always right. Except when Mommy is right.
Pasta for dinner.