"Progress is not achieved by luck or accident, but by working on yourself daily.”
Like you, I want to be a better father. I want to be more productive, to earn more money to buy pasta and cars and plastic toys imported from China.
To elevate the chances of success, I called Tim Ferris. He sent a carrier pigeon to Robin Sharma, who in turn created me early morning routine of journaling, meditation, exercise and family time. He was adamant it start at 5 a.m.
My daughter is worth an early morning wake up call.
So I scheduled it into my diary.
And then called my favourite of all the Stoics, Epictetus. I needed some ancient wisdom.
"It takes more than a good looking body. You've got to have the heart and soul to go with it."
Living a life of simplicity before minimalism was a life-hack, Epictetus was the primo advocate for understanding our limited control and, consequently, the perfect person to speak to about life lessons and fatherhood. If anyone could help me wake up at five o’clock in the morning, it was him.
A brief history of Epictetus
As most of our understanding of Socrates comes from his student Plato, most of what we know of Epictetus comes from his student Arrian. No writings from Epictetus are known.
However, what we do know of Epictetus sets him apart from his Stoic peers. Seneca and Marcus Aurelius were both from wealth and power. Epictetus was born a slave. How abject his poverty was is open for debate as he was ‘born’ into a wealthy family.
His owner Epaphroditus was a missionary and later canonised by the Catholic Church. If you listen to ancient rumours, he was also partially psychotic and broke Epictetus’s leg with a club.
That was left out of the canonisation ceremony.
Born 2000 years ago in modern day Turkey (Hierapolis, now Pamukkale), Epictetus was free to study liberal studies. Which is where he came across Stoic Musonius Rufus, his subsequent teacher and mentor. His very own Ryan Holiday. This life of philosophy eventually lead him to Rome, the Domus Aurea, Nero and Seneca and, by way of haphazard chance, the Apocalypse Daddy.
Being a Stoic in a time when thought wasn’t encouraged in the traditional ways, he was prone to the maniacal whims of those pesky Roman Emperors. Seneca was banished to Corsica by Claudius. Epictetus survived the psychosis of Nero but was banished at the hands of Roman Emperor Domitian, along with every other philosopher in the land.
"We have no power over external things and the good that ought to be the object of our earnest pursuit, is to be found only within ourselves”
Could I use the Stoic meditations of Epictetus to build an optimal morning routine, increase productivity, be a better father and help my children fight the wolves of this botched human covid-19 experiment. Could you?
"Progress is not achieved by luck or accident, but by working on yourself daily.”
That’s a good quote Epictetus, but a little ABC. Have you got anything with a little more… Oomph?!
"Don't explain your philosophy. Embody it."
That would take some embodying. I want to be stronger, healthier, sleep better, lower my heart rate, breathe more deeply, run further, jump higher, be more flexible, read more books, increase my productivity, do more deep work, host a podcast, make friends, have incredible relationships and I need my body to heal itself more efficiently.
"It takes more than a good looking body. You've got to have the heart and soul to go with it."
That makes sense. A good looking body needs character to go with it. Can I add creativity to this growth project?
Beginning, middle, end.
Epictetus asked if there was anything else.
I said I didn’t want to be a slave to notifications and make better decisions.
"Only the educated are free."
When the wicked witch of temptation comes bearing gifts for which I have no need, I want to banish her to the underworld. When life throws up naysayers and fools, I want the strength of mind to sit behind the conversation; watch it unfold, unburdened by the flickering snake tongue, full of empathy for their struggles; to listen intently to their gibberish.
"If you want to improve, be content to be thought foolish and stupid."
People can’t see past labels. I’m Apocalypse Daddy. Call me stupid, call me Ishmael, I’m signed up to the foolish club.
"Nothing great is created suddenly, any more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig. I answer you that there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.”
I’m a fig. You are wise Epictetus, no wonder Seneca admired you so. You have given me the motivation for a personal development dream gift-wrapped in the midst of an existential nightmare.
More energy, more insight, clarity of thought, longevity, better learning, physical health, mental health, productivity and creativity. Now what’s the strategy Epictetus?
"Imagine for yourself a character, a model personality, whose example you determine to follow, in private as well as in public."
Epictetus said I should choose a character and follow their example.
So I did.
Who is Robin Sharma?
“Robin Sharma is one of the top leadership experts in the world. His work is embraced by rock stars, royalty, billionaires and many celebrity CEOs. With over 15,000,000 books sold, clients such as Starbucks, Nike, GE, The Coca-Cola Company, NASA and Microsoft are using his leadership methods to drive real growth and top performance.”
Epictetus was unproductive by comparison.
What is the 5 a.m. Club?
It ain’t fucking rocket science. You have to get up at 5 a.m. Every day. Forever. And once you learn to ignore the snooze button and haul yourself out of bed, you don’t get to eat biscuits and drink tea. You get down and do a thousand press-ups.
It’s an hour of power when everyone else is sleeping. Well, Luca isn’t. But he’s two.
Why the hell you would want to wake up at 5 a.m. every day? The answer depends. World class leaders, CEOs (why does everyone give a fuck what CEOs do?) and artists rise early to maximise potential and rip the day into shreds. Exercise, meditate and get motivated before the sun comes up.
For me it’s a parenting productivity hack. I have two children, three jobs, a wife and curious mind. I need more hours.
Small steps lead to incredible results
Brain scientists say focusing on large goals stimulates our body’s fight or flight mechanism. We don’t have the brain capacity to write a thousand pages or save 45% of our net worth each month. The more important that goal is to you, the more you have riding on the outcome, the greater the feeling of fear becomes.
Fear overwhelms your desire for greatness, and you procrastinate.
Robert Maurer, Director of Behavioural Sciences at Santa Monica UCLA Medical Center, explains:
“Small easily achievable goals let you tiptoe past your amygdala, keeping it asleep and unable to set off alarm bells. As your small steps continue and the cortex starts working, the brain begins to create ‘software’ for your desired change, actually laying down new nerve pathways and building new habits.”
5 a.m. Club Ripple Effects
Habits in one part of your life act as a stone in a lake. Their ripples affect other areas of your life. By getting up at 5 a.m. every day you become all powerful in the other, easier areas of your life.
Enduring discomfort is an essential part of change.
As Mark Twain put it, “Eat the frog first thing in the morning and your day will only get better.”
Here is my 5 a.m. club morning routine:
“Keep a notebook. Travel with it, eat with it, sleep with it. Slap into it every stray thought that flutters up into your brain. Cheap paper is less perishable than grey matter. And lead pencil markings endure longer than memory.”
JOURNALING
Jack London said, “Keep a notebook. Travel with it, eat with it, sleep with it. Slap into it every stray thought that flutters up into your brain. Cheap paper is less perishable than grey matter. And lead pencil markings endure longer than memory.”
Franz Kafka kept a journal, as did CS Lewis.
Journaling is a panacea for prioritising fears, concerns and projects; a little daily self-examination to help remove negative thoughts, boost mood, and alleviate stress and anxiety.
“Worrying takes up cognitive resources; it’s kind of like people who struggle with worry are constantly multitasking – they are doing one task and trying to monitor and suppress their worries at the same time. Our findings show that if you get these worries out of your head through expressive writing, those cognitive resources are freed up to work toward the task you’re completing and you become more efficient.”
A brain emptied of the worries, anxieties and stress of daily life is better suited to creativity and less prone to procrastination.
Not only that.
After conducting a series of research about journaling, the famous psychologist James Pennebaker concluded that by reducing the impact of stressors on our immune-system cells journaling can help strengthen our immune system.
Stress relief in a biro.
"Take a breath."
COLD SHOWER
Insight from Robin Sharma and the 5 a.m club was discomfort is an essential part of change. Epictetus said I had to have body and soul. The idea here was to combine the unique discomfort of a cold shower with a dawn wake up call. These Epictetus quotes were really working.
Some people swim in lakes during winter. I live in the Alps and the lakes are frozen solid.
The idea with this one is to be comfortable being uncomfortable. Verge on hypothermia before breakfast and clarity of thought will permeate your life.
DEEP BREATHING
According to Robert Fried – a clinical respiratory psycho-physiologist who retired from the Biopsychology and Behavioural Neuroscience Program at the City University of New York, the Wim Hof breathing exercise I intend to do – “will induce a ‘hypometabolic state,’ where autonomic and mental arousal are minimal. It is a resting, restorative state; a counter anxiety, counter stress response of the body induced by using the breathing that goes with relaxation to trigger a similar muscle response in the body.
Sounds good. I’m in for three rounds each morning after my cold shower. If you want to know what it entails, here is Mr Hof showing English comedian Russel Brand how it’s done.
MEDITATION
What hasn’t been said about meditation and how it boosts creativity, lowers stress and anxiety, improves blood circulation and acts as a panacea for every physical and mental ailment recorded? 80% of Team Tim Ferris mediate on a daily basis. Bill Gates, Kobe Bryant (RIP), Paul McCartney, Oprah Winfrey, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Clint Eastwood, Sting… the list of old people who meditate stretches from Cape Cod to the Sea of Tranquillity and back.
“Like resilience, self-confidence and empathy, meditation is a “meta-skill” that improves everything else. You’re starting your day by practising focus when it doesn’t matter so that you can focus better later when it does matter.” – Tim Ferris
Cause and effect? It’s 5.30 in the morning. Who cares about mental bias at this hour?
I will switch between a twenty minute guided meditation and a twenty minute timed session where I will be a long with nothing but my thoughts and a – after the cold shower and the deep breathing – very deep breath.
READING
As I only read fiction at night, the morning reading session will be kept to non-fiction (a mixture of self-help, biography, business, education, parenting, mindset etc…) The idea behind this step is to start the morning feeling inspired and motivated; to take new insights and philosophy which I can readily implement into my day writing, working and being a father.
EXERCISE
Amongst a tidal wave of mental, physical and mindset upgrades, exercise keeps your judgement sharp, helps you stay on track and elevates your mood. It lowers the risk of heart disease, diabetes, colon cancer, strokes and osteoarthritis. It lowers blood pressure, inflammation, blood sugar and cholesterol. And that’s just the start.
It’s a goddamn miracle. We have brains and legs and arms and we can combine all three and live longer and happier lives.
Even at 5 a.m.
Barack Obama’s 6.45 a.m. weight and cardio exercise may well be the most famous early morning workout on the planet. Apocalypse Daddy wakes up before Barack and will start the workout five minutes before that tardy ex-president.
Forty-five minutes of exercise – I won’t be cycling as our bikes were stolen last week. Instead I will be doing a combination of running, yoga, Pilates, hill walking, skateboarding, basketball or dancing.
Exercise gives you an appetite of course. Which is just the segue I need for the final part of the morning routine.
BREAKFAST
Breakfast with the family
The reason why I am really doing this. Not breakfast. I mean family.